Rumorville - Hoboken to Introduce Ordinance Banning Strollers and Obnoxious Mothers

Rumorville - Hoboken to Introduce Ordinance Banning Strollers and Obnoxious Mothers

BREAKING NEWS

In what appears to be a long overdue necessity in Hoboken, the Hoboken Green Pepper has heard rumors from brass within Hoboken City Hall who wish to remain anonymous that an ordinance will be introduced next month to the city council members that will ban excessively wide strollers from city sidewalks and business and require parents to use longer strollers instead for their children.  The ordinance will also require stroller moms that are a combination of cranky, bitchy and obnoxious to have their mouths sealed with duct tape when roaming Hoboken.

Melissa O'Hara of Hoboken, who is single and without kids told the Hoboken Green Pepper "what a genius idea.  Too many mommies in Hoboken block the sidewalks with their insanely wide strollers and when I say something to get by, they give me that 'fuck you bitch' look and then sound off on how they're more important than me and how they're late for the puppet show at Symposium Book Store".  Jennifer Francis, a mother of two toddlers in Hoboken say "this is really stupid, I'm expecting twins in a month and it's not fair that my little ones will have to be lined up in a row, why should they not be allowed to look at each other?  I will be at the council meeting to say NO to this, granted my double wide even fits in the courtroom."

For years Hoboken residents have been up in arms over these extra wide strollers.  Residents have complained that these strollers block passage ways to local eateries and stores and that the mothers pushing these strollers always play the Dr. Phil card when confronted.  "A mother once got all bent out of shape when I asked her to move her stroller inside a Starbucks once" says Mike Jablonski, 39 of Hoboken.  "The mother got all upset, went on and on how she needs to be left alone, because she thinks her husband is cheating on her because his routine line of  'gotta stay late at the office again honey' keeps being repeated to her.  She then went on about how the lines at Kings aren't wide enough and they don't stock the correct diapers she demanded they order.  Her arms were flailing all over the place and she kept mumbling shit shit fuck fuck cock sucker under her breath, I was really scared for my life."

While this is just a rumor from a reliable source at this time, Hoboken Pepper would like to know froth reading public what you think of this possible ordinance and what penalties would you impose if this was enacted?